“There are no secrets, and there certainly aren’t 7 of them!” -My Dear Husband, (AKA The Brakes)

First, let me say, My Dear Husband isn’t exactly wrong. There are no secrets to getting your kids and spouses to dress-up without complaint, adopt a perfectly zen demeanor, listen to all instructions and follow them to the letter, all while the sunset brilliantly paints the sky. But perhaps you, like me, prefer a slightly more optimistic approach when it comes to wrangling your troops and trying to get a few frame worthy shots (or perhaps you are after–the unicorn of all photos–the perfect holiday card picture). After several years of cajoling, begging, and bribing, I’ve landed on these 7 tips that you can use to make your family photos less painful and maybe (probably) even fun. (My Dear Husband may not yet be convinced.)

One: It’s not so serious! It’s only family pictures. I was in the middle of a hot vinyasa class, holding some ridiculous pose, shaking and sweating, when the teacher proclaimed, “Smile, it’s not so serious, it’s only yoga.” That phrase has resonated in me for years whenever I find myself perhaps wound just a little (eh-em or a LOT) tighter that the situation warrants. Perhaps in the 1840s when a photograph required 30 minutes of exposure time, or even in the (eek) 1990s when you had to shoot on film and wait for the roll to be developed (the AGONY!) pictures were a bit more serious. But let’s face it, now pictures are part of our everyday, so remember that as you pack up for your family session. Sure, you might all be dressed a little more coordinated than on the average Tuesday, and you’re probably paying someone a fair bit to take your pictures, but they are just that: pictures. They help tell your story, but they do not equal your story. Don’t let the pomp get in the way of the moment (ever).

Two: Prep the littlest ones. Kids like to be part of the plan, so make sure they know what’s about to go down. It’s always nice to let them know that someone they don’t know (yet) will be taking some pictures with a big camera. I enjoy introducing myself to little kids and finding fun and fun ways to get them in on the project. Lets face it, if you’re having family photos done, the kids are the reason–so work to get them included before you show up at your location. Ask them what kind of pictures they want to take, sometimes the kid-led images turn out to be some of the best.

Three: Plan something fun for afterward. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner, but you’re all in the car together, dressed up, and out of the house; you already had to take time off from work or practices–so maximize the interruption by going to your family family spot afterwards. Mini-golf in dresses? Why not? Ice cream with a tie? Who says no to ice cream?

Four: Make sure everyone has eaten and slept. Sometimes the timing of photos doesn’t align with the usual dinner and nap schedule. It’s work adjusting the schedule, but worth it to make sure those needs are met, before you meet me. Being well fed and rested doesn’t just apply to family photo day–nobody does anything well when they are hangry or slangry!

Five: Pack those snacks! I know you just finished dinner, and there is no way they could possibly be hungry again so soon. I also know, your family will be ravaged by the largest hunger pains known to man AND suddenly too parched to walk from the car, if you don’t have a bag of emergency snacks with you. Small high value treats (yes I borrowed that phrase from our dog trainer…) are perfect to help get through the photo session with the fewest casualties possible. Think fruit snacks and mini-marshmallows, (please skip the Cheetos and Doritos unless your goal is orange fingers, smiles, and clothes).

Six: Bring a small special object to get the little one’s attention. I’ve found I can’t always count on squirrels to run behind the camera at the right moment, so its a good idea to bring a small toy that attracts the little ones when we are aiming for the “all look here” poses. My goal in our session is to document your family connecting with each other and not with my camera, so these props are not a huge part of our session time together. But we all know grandma wants the smiling photo with everyone looking, and we do hate disappointing grandma–the small toys can help.

Seven: Make sure everyone is comfortable in their clothes. It doesn’t matter how cute that sailor outfit is, if your little one is too miserable to run and play and smile while wearing it–it isn’t worth it. Likewise, if you can’t bend, twirl or play without worrying about your sleeves or neckline–consider a different ensemble. If you’re choosing to schedule photos with me, we’re going to play and connect–make sure everyone is wearing something they feel comfortable moving in.

Kids are master barometers of our moods, so relax. You’re here to spend time with your favorite people, and it’s my job to capture those moments. Once you arrive, just be you with your family, have fun, smile and trust that on the other side of the lens, I’ve got it all under control. I promise, you look beautiful from here.