Updated August 2026

“There are no secrets, and there certainly aren’t 7 of them!” -My Dear Husband, (AKA The Brakes)

First, let me say that My Dear Husband isn’t exactly wrong. There are no secrets to getting your kids and spouse to dress up without complaint, adopt a perfectly zen demeanor, listen to every instruction, follow it to the letter, and somehow do all of this while the sunset brilliantly paints the sky.

But perhaps you, like me, prefer a slightly more optimistic approach to family photos.

After several years of cajoling, negotiating, bribing, and occasionally questioning my life choices, I’ve landed on these seven things that create stress-free family photos. So your session feels less like a military operation and a lot more like time spent with the people you love.

Because here’s the thing: your family doesn’t have to behave perfectly for your photographs to be wonderful.

In fact, I’d argue that the opposite is often true.

1. Don’t Make the Photos a Big Deal

It’s not so serious! It’s only family pictures.

I was in the middle of a hot vinyasa class, holding some ridiculous pose, shaking and sweating, when the teacher announced, “Smile. It’s not so serious. It’s only yoga.”

That phrase has stayed with me for years, particularly when I find myself wound just a little—eh-hem, or a LOT—tighter than the situation warrants.

Maybe photographs were more serious in the 1840s, when a portrait required a very long exposure. Or even in the (eek) 1990s, when we shot on film and then had to wait for the roll to be developed. The agony!

But now? Pictures are part of everyday life.

So as you pack everyone into the car for your family photo session, remember: these are pictures. They help tell your story, but they do not equal your story.

Your toddler may refuse to smile. Your teenager may look mildly offended by the entire concept. Your husband may mysteriously develop a sudden interest in the horizon.

It’s okay.

The goal isn’t to manufacture a perfect afternoon so we can manufacture a perfect photograph. The goal is to give your family some room to be themselves and see what happens.

Let the kids in on the plan

Kids like to know what’s coming, so give them a little context before the session. Let them know that someone they don’t know yet will be taking pictures with a very large camera.

I love introducing myself to little kids and finding fun ways to get them in on the project. Ask them what kind of pictures they want to take. Let them suggest something ridiculous. Give them a little ownership.

Some of my favorite photographs have come from following a child’s idea rather than my own.

Plan something fun for afterward

It doesn’t have to be fancy. You’re already in the car together, dressed up, out of the house, and you’ve probably rearranged someone’s practice schedule to make this happen. You might as well maximize the interruption.

Mini-golf in dresses? Why not?

Ice cream while wearing white? Obviously.

A family photo session doesn’t have to feel like an obligation you survived. Make it part of a good day.

2. Feed Them. Let Them Nap. Bring Snacks.

Make sure everyone has eaten and slept as well as possible before your family photo session.

Sometimes the timing of photos doesn’t line up neatly with dinner or nap schedules. I understand. Life rarely consults the family photographer before scheduling soccer practice, naps, and dinner.

But if you can adjust things a little, it’s worth it.

Because well-fed, reasonably rested humans generally make better company.

And bring snacks.

I know you just finished dinner, and there is absolutely no way your child could possibly be hungry again so soon. I also know that approximately seven minutes into the session, your family will be ravaged by the largest hunger pains known to humanity and suddenly too parched to walk from the car.

Small, high-value treats—yes, I borrowed that phrase from our dog trainer—can be incredibly useful.

Think fruit snacks or mini marshmallows. Maybe skip the Cheetos and Doritos unless neon orange is part of your color palette.

3. Dress for Real Life

Choose clothes that allow everyone to move, sit, run, snuggle, and generally exist like a human being.
It doesn’t matter how adorable that sailor outfit is if your little one is too uncomfortable to play in it.
And if you can’t bend, twirl, pick up your child, or sit on the ground without worrying about your sleeves or neckline, consider something else.

If you’re choosing to schedule a family photography session with me, we’re going to play and connect. Wear something that lets you do that.

I’m all for beautiful clothes. I am less enthusiastic about clothing that requires an professional negotiating team.

4. Let Them Move

If you’ve stumbled into my corner of the photography universe, you’ve probably noticed that I’m not particularly interested in formal portraits where everyone stands in a row and smiles politely at the camera.

My favorite photographs usually happen when families are doing something.

Everyone piled onto a sled and careening down a snowy hill. Sticky fingers holding golden (or slightly blackened) marshmallows. Racing through waves at the beach. A kid running so fast that everyone’s hair is moving in the wrong direction.

Movement gives us something to notice.

So let them run. Let them chase. Let them climb. Let them spin. Let them hold your hand and drag you somewhere.

You don’t have to create a moment for me to photograph.

I’ll watch for the moment that’s already there.

5. Let Them Be Weird

Are they obsessed with being Superman? Do they insist they can only touch grass while wearing their space boots?

Honestly, lean into that.

If your child makes a ridiculous face every time they see a camera, congratulations. You have a child.

You don’t have to correct everything that makes them unique just because a camera is pointed in their direction.

That image with the ridiculous face might end up being the photograph you love most.

I don’t want to photograph the version of your child who is trying very hard to behave. I want to photograph your child.

If they have a lovey that has become part of this season, bring it. If they suck their thumb, it’s okay. If they want to wear the cape, bring the cape.

These little quirks are part of the story, too. They’re the kind of unsung milestones we don’t always think to photograph—the small clues that tell us who our children are becoming.

6. Stop Worrying About the Perfect Family Photograph

Here’s the secret that My Dear Husband insists doesn’t exist:

The perfect family photograph probably isn’t the one where everyone is looking at the camera.

The beauty happens when you notice the way your child collapses into your lap in a fit of giggles.

It’s the way they lean into Dad while watching the world.

It’s Mom fixing someone’s hair without even thinking about it.

It’s siblings whispering something that makes absolutely no sense to anyone else.

Maybe it’s the photograph of everyone walking away at the end of the session.

Maybe someone isn’t looking at the camera at all.

The goal of stress-free family photos isn’t a session where everyone behaves perfectly. It’s a session where everyone has enough room to be themselves. The point isn’t perfection. It’s recognition.

That little moment where you look at the photograph and think, There we are.

7. Trust Your Photographer

You don’t have to pose.

You don’t need to entertain the kids.

You don’t need to figure out where everyone should stand.

And you don’t need to manufacture moments for me.

You’re here to spend time with your favorite people. It’s my job to notice what unfolds and photograph it.

Once you arrive, be with your family.

Play. Walk. Snuggle. Laugh. Let the kids be themselves.

I’ll take care of the rest.

And I promise: you look beautiful from here.

What if My Kids Don’t Cooperate for Photos?

They probably won’t.

At least not in exactly the way you imagined.

And that’s okay.

Kids get distracted. They get bored. They need a snack. They decide they absolutely cannot possibly walk in the direction we’re going. They become deeply invested in a stick. That’s the secret to stress-free family photos: we don’t have to fight every unexpected moment.

Sometimes we take a break. Sometimes we change locations. Sometimes we let them run. Sometimes we photograph Mom and Dad while the kids do their own thing.

There is no single right way for a family photo session to unfold. And honestly, that’s part of what makes it interesting. The best family photographs are often the ones you didn’t plan for.

Your daughter wrapped around your leg.

Your partner laughing at something you said.

Someone’s hair is a mess.

Someone is dancing by themselves.

A kid has grass-stained the carefully chosen outfit while sliding grass.

And when you look at the photograph, you don’t think: Everyone behaved perfectly.

You think: There we are.

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If a stress-free family photo session is on your list, you can find more about me here.